Tuesday, March 28, 2006!
HandWritten on; 7:03 PM
Thou i dun tink my tittle gotta do anything wif wad i m gonna type down. I juz saw tis word and decided tt to be my tittle
Sch~
lessons were long todae. I was freaking tired since the start of lessons. I dun blame anyone. Except myself. Yes. I guess todae's theme is bout blaming myself. I myself caused so mani things in so many ways. MY studies ar infuriating. de sense of self accomplishmentness issn there in me. I dun feel proud of my work. i can get 20/25 and i will go. Oh! wad a lousy score. Paper slips back into my file. The impt black file.
Prefects~
Makes The sense of self accomplishment and the sense of sucess worse! I m loosing it!! I always think to myself wads the purpose of mi living trying to make a difference. Trying to fight rites fer my members. Trying to voice out tots tt are covered by mist and haze. WHY! i ask myself. y turn myself red becuz of tis! y m i so committeed to the board. Y does everione keep poking to my life. Y does everything dun work out lyk a dream lyk a fantasy. Y m i treated lyk a dog! Y i Can't! argh!! i dun wanna type all these down. Promise me. Dun worry bout me at all. I m transparent and invisable. I juz wanna care bout u.
Mood~
I tink i have attp. I m getting angry over minute situations! Y again!! I dun c my name on a paper fer long jump Gold. I made a big fuss over it to u. Lyk some Shit irritating Mosquito. Sorry. My mouth juz won't shut does it!
You~
I guess i dun feel lyk going online or tok to anyone anymore fer todae. Me being lyk tis. Is too much and above my self Control and limits. I nv felt so bossy and Blah blah blah. I dun wan to do anything to upset u. Even a gal sitting close to u. Ure nt used to it! Wad more go hug another guy fer luck. I feel so dumb. I ask u such a qns. Issn it obvious. U won't be realli happy wif it. I mean a little jealous at least. I read so much. But i ask the dumbest qns in the world. I able to control myself and let pple insult lyk a bitch. I dun feel gd. I dun feel rite. I dunno how to face u and the world wif my torn heart. I wanna hide away. bring my misery away. Dun ask wad happen.
But U will always be ter in my heart. In tt special place.I guess u won't eat the same fruit twice. But i dun wan to bully u. Boss u. And treat u lyk a doc. I wan u to continue wif ur own life. and not feeling mi lyk a resposibility or a burden. I noe how it feels. I dun have a strong heart lyk u do. I dunno how to not be so emotionless lyk a stone. When i feel hurt. I jz cry. Wad can they expect frm me?! i m not de as strong and ****** lyk they tink.
I smiled when u said them. But ................... nvmm..
