Saturday, June 24, 2006!
HandWritten on; 11:42 PM
Ya! I have tears in my eyes and 2 tears rolling down my cheeks. I found out my dad is loosing his job this fridae n not able to work for the nxt 6 months. My mom ask me not to worry and juz concentrate on studies and just try to save. Can someone excatly tell me what the wan frm me. Serious! I juz wan to noe wads my problem! spending lyk 740 per month for a kid! YA! I dunno y i i m having so mani tuitions n results juz sucks. Maybe i was born lyk this. Maybe i juz can't get things rite and done. I cannot get by anyexams without problems coming out and disracting me. So much for the cheating case being over. It haunts me! It scares me! Im petrified wif the pple ard me. Im afraid getting stab again wif awful truths and betrayers. I m juz so gulliable and aft anything or everything i still can smile and tok to them. This is another scar dat it won't be erase. For at least my mind has already set itself fer it to be unerase. Maybe... Maybe it shld be lyk last tym, suffer alone. Telling noone anything, Fake a happy smile.. Dun wan sympaties and pityness frm pple. Much more letting them suffer wif me. My dream, my dream is to see the pple tt i care and i love to be happy. happy frm the heart. But i can't do tt. I dunno wad im' doing.. I tink i've been taking things fer granted especailly peenuts. WHy issit always him.. why issit him tt i juz talk things out and unable to control myself. Why do i make him feel this way....... Is not juz money issues but terrorizing things dat im scared of. my life.
